My time….
It is just after 1 a.m. and here I am stll at the hospital….it is FINALLY my turn to get to stay all night alone- in the room with my daddy. I have waited patiently while everyone in my family had their turns- and now….it is here- my time. The problem is I am confused….I don’t quite know what to do with “my time”….I just finished reading 3 chapters of Matthew to my dad- it was funny as I read it- he lay so still (not sure if he can hear me yet) and I kept waiting for him to correct a pronunciation or say- “Now- do you know what you just read?” After I finished- I realized over these past few days- that this is the first time I have ever read my Bible to my Father….I laughed a little outoud cause I knew that he could have quoted all 3 chapters for me…(sigh) I also got the nurse to come in a do some mouth care for him. He loves his teeth to be brushed and so I hoped he noticed- his eyes were open the whole time…the we used his electric razor and gave him a kinda ok shave….he would not have thought it was a good one but- his skin felt better and I think it made him feel better. I decided then that I would brush his hair…(also something I never remembered doing)— you know how those Jenkins men are about their hair!! So here we are- it is now 1:15 and I am watching him rest. His vitals are all good- his breathing is so smooth and clear and every now and then his eyes open and I go to him and tell him all I can about what is happening. I have such a fear of him being afraid— wow, another first. As I sit here in this small hospital room- watching my precious father- I realize what I am doing is just what I want to do- Watch him….talk to him….be with him….I want to have “my time”….I have prayed silently with him….saying that I want God to have His will be done— but at the same time literally begging God to let His will be for my daddy to be ok- to come back to us and to give him more time with us. I love him so much- I have never been timid about telling him how much I love him….and I know he loves me too…but oh how much- I want to hear him say it. My time….there is nothing more special right at this moment.
Thank you for praying so fervently….
