the news
I haven’t blogged at all since we got the news— that awful news that hurt (literally) hurt to hear. Multiple Organ System Failure. I have thousands of words floating around in my head…and nothing seems to come out on paper-well- I am going to try today for a bit as I wait- sit and wait for my daddy to go home to write a bit. About 11:00 this morning- the doctor (this amazing wonderful sweet doctor) came in to talk to us- He was just giving us the most awful news that any doctor has to give - he told us our father is actively dying. I must admit that when he said those words- they crushed my soul but they also made so much sense to me- “actively dying.” My dad- everything he did was active— his whole life was about active living- how fitting that now as he makes his way home- that he would actively die. The other thing that really stood out that the doctor said amidst the jumbled up medical phrases and explanation- was this- right before he left the room. He said-I am so glad that he has so many loving family members around him at this time— most often people do not. It broke my heart- I thought how sad it is that there are people in the world who do not have this- who do not have this gift of love and care and support— Family. It also broke my heart because I know that my dad has been that “family” for many many people…and he would not be here to do that anymore. I miss him already…and I must today ask for your forgiveness over the next few days as I know I will selfishly write about this man that I love so much….(writing is my therapy and he loved me to write) so I know the words will flow…..once I feel strong enough to share them with the few who read here.
