~Heart Prints~

just praying

I have been struggling back and forth about this post— and yet my heart is so full that I am having trouble not posting.  This week has been a very very tough week for our campus….a week full of some very painful realizations and some very hard decisions. This has been a week of searching for a way to show concern and yet follow guidelines established several months before this week got here.  It is because of this that I wanted to put my heart on paper—I asked if you do not plan to continue to read with a good heart and a Christ-like spirit- please stop here—because the words that follow are all from a prayerful, sincere heart. 

I began working in the wonderful world of student services about 6 years ago- following about a year and half of working for some of my favorite people on campus.  The decision to move to the student services area was not a hard one- I knew that I would miss my boss and I would greatly miss my co-workers- I also knew that my goal for being at FH was so that I could find a way to influence students in a positive way, so that I could interact with them and help the hurting and give back in a way that would be effective.  I wanted to serve others with a care and love that made a difference.  Since being there I have grown and changed and felt such strength from the students we are blessed to know- I have fallin in love with the energy that these young adults have, I have heard some of the hardest “life” stories that I ever wanted to hear and I have seen some of the greatest “transformations” from childhood to manhood, I have watched young people fall in love with their soulmates and I have watched people fall in love with God and His will.  It has been a blessing most all the time.  I have also gotten to see some people make some pretty bad choices that caused their lives to be affected in a big way- some have overcome those choices and some have let their choices overtake them. 

One of the big blessings that I have had is that I have gotten to work with 4 deans- yes, 4 different people have been deans in the time that I have been there..each of these people have been VERY VERY different—It has been a unique situation to work with all of them and I have learned things from each of them.  I have seen these deans work tirelessly with very little thanks and tons and tons of blame.  I have cried with some- well all- of them, I have prayed with all of them, I have seen them spend more than 60 hours a week working to help things run smoothly on campus- I have seem them be lonely, and often without their families for long periods of time because of taking care of our families.  I have seen them struggle with ways to help students grow stronger in their faith, I have seen them literally beg for a student to be given one more chance for a better academic score, I have seen them fight back anger, and fight back tears.  It is no wonder that there is a pretty big turn over in this role…it is tough one.  It takes someone who really cares to start it and it takes even more for one to stay with it.  I have watched a dean go completely by the rules and still be “bashed” beyond belief- and I have watched a decision be overturned and a dean have to sit back and watch all they have worked on keeping in order changed a bit. In the past two years- I have watched as FB has become the sounding board for students to be hurtful and hateful- I have seen people change a status without any knowledge of a situation at all and I have seen rumors and text be spread that were not only cruel but sad and painful and I have seen some of our wonderful deans pray for God to bless  the very people who say such harsh things. I said all of these 4 people were all very different but they did all have one thing in common— and that is they love- they love what they do, they love the students they work with and for, and mostly they love their God.

 So tonight- while I often do know the facts of situations and I watch as the cruelty and anger unfurl without so much as one request to speak to those who make these hard hard decisions….I am praying.  Praying for peace for our campus- praying for those who hurt just to hurt- praying for those who make bad choices (as we all do) and learn that they are loved but still might have to deal with difficult consequences-I am praying for those who made those difficult decisions and I am praying for those who will see the good in their fellow brothers and sisters and let them know that while it hurts- we trust them and we know that they love us- as they work consistently to do what they can to help all others.   

from my heart-